How Not To Be A Supermodel

It’s the second you’ve all been ready for*: my first ever guide, How Not To Be A Supermodel, is offered for pre-order! Here!

An precise guide that it is possible for you to to carry in your arms. Or, in case you want my dulcet tones, hearken to together with your ears. You’ve liked my revealing life updates, over time, and also you’ve diligently learn by means of my farcical tales of woe (bear in mind after I nearly by chance penetrated myself with a shower faucet?): now it’s time to let me take you all the way in which again to 2001, after I was a mere slip of a factor, leaving my legislation diploma to turn into an immediately wealthy and well-known supermodel.

You might name How Not To Be A Supermodel a memoir, as a result of I wrote it about myself and my recollections and the experiences I had as a trend mannequin within the noughties, however my God that makes it sound very severe. “Memoir” makes it sound as if I wrote my guide within the 1800s. Within the drawing room, while mom did her needlepoint and Eliza practised on the pianoforte.

And let me ask you this: would a memoir, to your thoughts, embody a narrative about by chance happening a luxurious five-day vacation with a person you didn’t know? Would a memoir sometimes have a chapter known as Physique Like a Turgid Penis? Or – maintain on a second whereas I rustle by means of my notes – I’m Drunk and I’m Not Carrying Knickers? No it might not.

So sure, I wrote it about me and sure, it’s set previously, however don’t make the error of pondering that any painful soul-searching went into this guide. Let’s not get the incorrect finish of the stick, right here. I didn’t write it while sobbing periodically right into a starched linen kerchief, dabbing my eyes when it acquired to the insufferable bits: this can be a rip-roaring riot of a experience by means of a decade of the inconceivable situations and surprising occasions that life as a non-supermodel threw up, and it’s chaotic and blundering and humorous and incessantly ridiculous.

Pre-order How Not To Be A Supermodel

OK, there are poignant moments. In fact there are. The truth is I used to be particularly advised, after I acquired the guide deal, that I needed to embody the bits that might create one thing of a speaking level. (As if me inadvertently turning into concerned in an impromptu intercourse present or nearly falling into shark-infested waters wasn’t sufficient of a speaking level.) And so sure, I’ve put within the tough bits in addition to the entire elements that can doubtlessly have you ever spitting out your espresso and embarrassing your self on public transport.

However principally this can be a snort-inducing, extremely correct** account of all of the methods through which I did not turn into a supermodel. My obvious bodily shortcomings, my persona defects and my spectacular capability to draw chaos and catastrophe in nearly any state of affairs.

You possibly can pre-order How Not To Be A Supermodel now – the discharge date is twenty ninth August. It has already been heralded as THE ONLY BOOK YOU NEED TO READ THIS YEAR!*** and so I feel it’s a fairly secure wager that you simply’ll adore it. Pre-orders actually matter, apparently, and so in case you solely ever click on on one hyperlink I publish then please make it this one. I’ll be perpetually in your debt.

Pre-order your copy of How Not To Be A Supermodel here

I’ll be again with extra posts in regards to the guide and in regards to the technique of writing it as a result of it has truthfully been the perfect, most satisfying factor I’ve ever finished in my grownup life. If you happen to’ve adopted me for some time then you definately’ll know that writing was what I had began to do on the finish of my modelling profession; running a blog was a really completely satisfied accident that took off into one thing nice and I’ve an excellent and rewarding profession in social media due to it, however I’ve been hounding a guide deal for a really very long time****. It’s a correct “full circle” second for me.

*hopefully

**as correct as attainable. Largely correct. Considerably correct.

***I used to be compelled to offer this quote myself, as a result of it’s too early to get one off one other author but. I attempted to maintain it refined and fashionable.

****truthfully, the variety of folks I needed to sleep with.